51 3 11 Sunday 11p
Brahms is cold, what life he did express was sterile.
Most men are not artists, but business men because there it is easier to be a man and live in ascendancy over the work.
I will not become a man until I realize women are ornaments and must be handled as such with respect, or interest. And in being ornaments to his essence, they make a man a man.
I felt a woman’s breast for the first time tonight. Me, twenty and I think to feel proud! What was it? It was an event only because I had said it would be.
I had to watch that I didn’t go too fast, I must be afraid as well as bold, and eager. I must soothe and seduce. Were, [Luke], you were dead!
She was very passionate and afraid and nervous. After a while I pulled her blouse from her skirt and slipped my hand under to her skin. I was not afraid. I’d done this before, other skins, another sex, but same thing, purpose.