Historical Documents – 1948 Luke Warmer Diary Entry

June 26 Saturday 12 1948

God! What a life of torture it is to continually desire and never get: I thought I was through. I’ve seen a desire in women but only when it was forced and only for a moment. The other desire completely overpowers it. Whenever I go on a trip I always begin finding more men, good-looking men, and the old desire comes back, and I find myself staring. And once I find one man that’s terrific it’s a long time before I can think of anything else. Today at the Club I saw a golfer walk by. I never saw his face but I couldn’t take my eyes off his body. I hadn’t seen one like it in a long time; it was perfect. I swear I’ll go crazy if I don’t get a woman to love. If I could only go down and visit Norm, he could probably fix me up, but no money. Only to be like the other men that can take a woman out anytime to satisfy themselves. But there are only dreams and desires

      In the Kinsey Report it gives that about a third of the male sex are homosexual. But none of them are worth the trouble. Ever since the man, I can see the repulsiveness of men, but as soon as a perfect one comes in sight, I’m off again. Night before last I went to answer an ad for work (which was no good) and on the way home as I passed the man’s house and he was sitting outside on the steps so I met him and we went out. I never touched him after the second time…

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