July 23, 1948
The difference between my feeling for a girl and a man is that for a girl the feeling is animal like, basic, much deeper, calmer but more passionate, it brings out the man in me, gives me a feeling of mastery and domination; with a man I feel weak, with a thin, nervous, surface feeling, there is no thought of nature and the biological aspects (but, then, of coarse), it’s a feeling of complete surrender, it’s full of admiration and envy which is probably the basis for it all…Am I or not. I keep giving reasons that say no but I still don’t accept it yet. The Kinsey Report says 1/2 of the male population has had homosexual associations. Now certainly God didn’t make a third of the population (male) abnormals, which is what the report found as homos.