Historical Documents – Luke Warmer Diary Entries

Luke Warmer (pseudonym; OC 53). Courtesy of Oberlin College Archives.

Luke Warmer (pseudonym; OC 53). Courtesy of Oberlin College Archives.

While students spoke freely about their heterosexual relationships and conquests, Conservatory student Luke Warmer (pseudonym, OC 53) confided almost exclusively in his diary, which he began at age seventeen after the death of his father. In his Oberlin entries, he described his trysts and attractions in great detail and mused about everything from music to human behavior to the nature of sin and homosexuality. The following diary excerpts provide a rare glimpse into one non-heterosexual student’s life in the late 1940s and early 1950s.

June 8 Tuesday 11p 1948
It’s emotional, passionate love music and gives the best impression of “paradise.”

June 13 Sunday 4p 1948
She was excited too, I could tell, by the way we worked our hands.

June 19 Saturday 2p 1948
It was pitch dark…

June 20 Sunday 11p 1948
Homosexuality is not prenatal but postnatal…

June 26 Saturday 12 1948
God! What a life of torture it is to continually desire and never get…

July 23, 1948
The Kinsey Report says 1/2 of the male population has had homosexual associations.

Aug 9, 1948
Shaking like a leaf and without my glasses…

Wednesday Aug 11 1948 4pm
On the way back…a truck driver picked me up.

December 7 Tuesday 10p 1948
During the Ravel I had an orgasm of the mind…

December 10 Friday 1a 1948
He admitted one time of being seduced and submitting and of being disgusted after…

December 27 Monday 11p 1948
You’re following only instinct and surely that can’t be wrong…

Feb. 2 1949 Wednesday 11p
I dreamed I was playing a piece of music at a lesson.

February 10 1949 Thursday 11p
It’s so strange and wonderful the way I’ve fallen in love with H.

February 16 1949 Wednesday 12p
I just spent the last half hour looking at a head…

Tuesday, Feb 22 1949 10 pm
I am wondering intensely about…the future of this affair.

Wednesday Feb 23 1949 4p
Outside my door he was back in society which might discover.

Monday March 14, 1949
I thought of Debussy, his sex life, his wantonness…

Sunday April 17, 1949, 7p
Whenever he was the slave he used in accompaniment to his fondlings the word “Bwana”…

Sept 27 1949
I was reminded with a terror of what I might be drifting away from.

Early November 1949
We both had grins on our faces…

51 3 11 Sunday 11p
I will not become a man until I realize women are ornaments…

51 5 13 Sunday 10:45p
Love, masculinity, and femininity, are also states of mind…

51 5 16 Wednesday 4
The trouble with homosexuality in me…

51 6 8 Friday 11pm
There are two kinds of love…

52 2 4 Monday 11p
Sin is caused by connotation set up by tradition…

Feb 14 1952
There are times when sin does not harm and it is not sin…

52 10 18 Saturday 16:15
A man with a woman is made sure of being a man…

52 12 17 Wednesday 24 [midnight]
A man approached me, poorly dressed and with a box.

All entries copyright © 1948, 1949, 1951, 1952, 2005